24

Psalm 27: 1-4, continued.

So back to Psalm 27. David is talking about being afraid. He's saying that even when it's all at its worst and you think you may die, your heart will choose not to fear. Because the Lord is perfect and brings light and strength to our lives, we have no reason to be afraid. We must keep our eyes off the trauma and disaster in the world and on the face of Jesus. Easier said than done, I know, but my heart wants to be there. To live without fear is so cool and nice, and to live constantly in the face of my beautiful God seems perfect and wonderful. It's a place where I want to be more than anywhere.

So as a side thought from yesterday's musings, here's what I want to say. I don't want to talk you out of fear. If you can be talked out of something, it just means you can be talked back into it. Bad, unfair things will happen. And although the odds of the thing you're most afraid of happening are slim, we cannot count on this messed up world to be our hope and consolation. No way. The face of God, His word and presence, are our hope and consolation.

So, maybe sit on your couch with God, Bible in your lap, and put on the table (to Him) your worst case scenario. Tell Him the one thing you're most afraid of happening to you. (There could be two or three and that's fine, He can handle them all.) Tell Him the thing you believe would kill you. Go on, be brave, dig deep (or not so deep) and put it out there. Then ask God, what would happen to me? If it's not death then it's something else and here's what would happen. At first you would be numb from the pain, and want to die. Then a little while after that you would start to feel again, and you would kick and scream and yell obscenities at God because you feel like you trusted Him and He let you down. Don't worry, it's completely normal, I've done it a lot. Then you would apologize because you felt like you had to. Also been there. Then, eventually, however many days later, you would get out of bed, and still feeling like you were going to die, you would breath in and out, in and out... You would pray to God to help you survive each day. This is the worst case scenario, remember- the core of your fear, the thing that keeps you the most gripped with fear. After the mornings and nights and days and afternoons as a sobbing mess before God, mad at the world and everyone who has the nerve to be happy, you would finally, pain-wrenchingly, find who you are again. Hopefully, slowly, you would allow God to bring you back to life. You would go on. You would live. Because things change, but He never changes. He is as solid as a rock.

Remember, everyday, to look into the face of God in prayer. Look to Him in His precious life changing Word. He is all over the pages; and He will love you love you love you to a point where fear and the mention of it feels foreign amidst such perfect, fearless love you have found. Don't be distracted and don't lose heart because He is always there, and you will see Him.